Tag Archives: spirituality

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Abramelin, day 240

Woke up in middle of night, could NOT go back to sleep, floated in between for I don’t know how long.

Went to sleep, and had the trippiest dream ever. One moment I was interacting with the characters from the tv show Charmed, the next I was interacting with my HGA. There was an obvious comparison between the “whitelighters” being paired with the witches on the show and the HGA. At some point in the dream I realized I had missed my flight to Florida where I was supposed to be spending the next two days, mentioned this to my HGA who said, “Oh no, I’m putting you on an assignment.” Next thing I know I’m solving some odd puzzle–a little too easily as I clicked on one thing and won–and wound up sending some video to a fellow magician/friend online. Then I was watching him watch the video, which was of some man with dark skin and very, very light blue eyes talking. I didn’t get to see what he was talking about because my friend fast forwarded to the end. I just know that the man in the video was VERY agitated. My friend then paused the video in time for the  man’s two eyes to be one big, light blue eye in the center of his forehead, and he said “And that’s all I’ve got left.”

Woke up with a start about 10 minutes before my alarm was due to go off.

Morning rite and noon prayer rite went well…all things considered. Horribly sleep depped, was a zombie most of the day. It went by in a blur.

ZERO clue what that dream shit meant and I’m more than a little creeped out.

Another offer for getting me an almond wand online.

Evening rite went well.

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Abramelin, day 239

Morning and noon rites went well.

Met with a few people from my Strega group in the evening for candle making, discussion, and dinner. They’re going to try to find me some almond wood.

Got numerous ideas, need to start rereading Kingsley’s books.

Evening rite went well.

 

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Abramelin, day 238

Lots of very strange dreams, bound to happen when you go to bed super early due to an upset stomach. Slept for 10 hours too.

Kept dreaming of seeing images of me being either INSANELY pregnant and being told to “be careful” and “I don’t understand what that means” to x-ray images showing a small, red dragon growing that was attached to me. In another dream a small eagle came, landed on my leg and wrapped its wings around me and wouldn’t leave.

No drugs are needed, ever.

Morning and noon rite went well.

Spent the day relaxing, working out, cleaning, and getting homework for my nutrition certification class done.

I feel like I’m getting somewhere but I feel comfortable, too.

Evening rite went well.

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Abramelin, day 237

Morning and noon prayer rite went well.

Job is going well so far, hopefully will stay that way! They are giving me high hopes and it’d be nice too finally be in a place I can stay in for a while AND have time to work on my side businesses until I can leave IT.

Stomach still upset and sensitive. When did I ever get this sensitive? Will need to watch what I eat next few days if much of anything at all.

Evening rite went okay, but had to go to bed early because I wasn’t feeling well. Only third time ever during the operation I’ve had to do it in my room instead.

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Abramelin, day 236

Morning rite and noon prayer rite went well.

Schedule changes in my life don’t help me too much. I need to figure out what to do with myself besides being online and working out when not at work. I think I have some intense personal stuff I’m still avoiding and I need to start digging into that.

I also need to start getting more sleep. It’s affecting my eating habits and everything else. I’m also a LOT more physically active than I normally am, which is great. I think I need to take in more quality food.

Evening rite went well, all things considered.

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Abramelin, day 235

Morning rite and noon prayer rite went well.

I can’t believe it’s taken me 235 days to finally get someone to comment on my entries and ask me what it means when I say a rite “went well”. Honestly, much of the time they are satisfying but sometimes they are not. Sometimes I am whining or ranting during these. If you go back during some of the entries I touch upon that. This has NOT been an easy couple of months besides, but a number of miracles have helped me along the way.

I dunno, maybe I need another FAQ that goes something like this:

Q: Why are you doing this rite?
A: To torture you all, my beloved minions and striped jellyfish.

Q: But what do you hope to get out of the Abramelin??
A: A sweet, sweet blog. And questions like these!

Q: But I’m skeptical, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? WHYYYY
A: Because I’m here to torture you and make you ask these questions!

Q: But this I think that this rite is stupid and it won’t work waaaa
A: Then by all means, don’t do it! I don’t want you to do anything you think is stupid because that would be like stupid or something.

Q: But then WHY ARE YOU DOING IT
A: Why, to annoy you! Is it working yet?

Q: …are you making fun of me?
A: Is water wet?

Q: WHY are you making fun of me??
A: Hermes.

Day three of the new job and I’m still liking the place. I really hope this lasts! I have also learned what my hours are, and I love them to bits. I want to hug them and squeeze them and call them George.

Had some interesting insights today while pissing off all the right people (utterly unrelated to the blog comments, lol). I wanted a sign to let me know whether or not I’m on the right track and I got it, along with a bit of a revealing test. I have no idea if I “passed” or not but I do know that how I react to things now is NOT how I used to react, and I consider that a bonus. I’m not yet where I’d like to be but I’m definitely not where I was, and for that I am super extraordinarily grateful. I commented about this to my friends last night. I am so honestly grateful to not be where I was at the start at this rite let alone last year to the point of tears.

 

Evening rite went well. 😉

 

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Abramelin, day 234

Morning rite and noon prayer rite went well.

I think I am missing a day, but I’m not sure. The trip to the Cape has me totally thrown off.

Day two of job went well. I may like it here. Haven’t done any real work yet so hard to say. I never really know until after the first couple of months.

After work got to hang out with a few people from my coven.

I have a lot to work on but feeling insanely optimistic. I know what I want and I’m defining it more and more all the time. At the same time, I feel like I’ve been doing this rite forever. Am I there yet? lol

Evening rite went well.

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Abramelin, day 233

Morning rite and noon prayer rite went well.

This job may actually work out. They work a 37.5 hour week, don’t see any micromanaging thus far, great commute, very nice people. We’ll see.

Feeling good. Battling some personal bullshit but hey, another day in the life of.

Evening rite went well.

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Abramelin, day 232

Morning and noon prayer rites went well.

Still not sleeping well, hot tubbing and pain meds completely knocked me out. Fought falling asleep during car ride home, went into bed and totally crashed.

Tomorrow is the first day at my new job. I really hope this works out. :-/

Lots of intense, interesting dreams.

Evening prayer rite went well.

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Abramelin, day 231

Morning and noon rite went well.

Went to the Cape to hang out with parents and friends of the family, long day of traveling. Pulled something in neck and shoulders, not able to sleep very much without pain. Will need pain meds and chiropractor if this continues.

Evening prayer rite went well.