Morning rite went well, although I almost forgot to wash my hands and face as I was stumbling to get into there this morning. I have been waking up mildly dehydrated and until I get some water in me, thoughts do not come to me very coherently let alone anything else.

Today I awoke to good news, my side business is continuing to take off. I am truly on a roll, and I can’t stop now. I am also completely cleared to start my new job on the 21st, which is also when my mom should be finishing up her latest family drama. I am starting to wonder if the Abramelin is affecting people around me given the timing of way too many events around my entering phase three.

I spent today planting more seeds for my business, working out, cooking healthy food to eat, and watching South Park. Not bad.

Evening rite went well.

I awoke at dawn, and so I went in and did the rite. It went well.

It occurred to me that part of my upset stomach yesterday could be my need to do a fasting/cleansing day. Being as active as I am, I have subconsciously been resisting the idea. Since today is Sunday and I plan to do the purification bath (Apollo’s day is perfect for this sort of thing) I could also do some sort of special fasting day. I will pray for guidance in this.

All of this lack of a regular day job is useful, but can’t help but think it would’ve been better for me during phase 3. It’s going to be VERY strange for me to have a regular day job in a few weeks, stranger still to do it at the start of phase 3. I don’t think there’s a “typical” Abramelin experience but so far I think I’m breaking the mold right, left, and center.

Been doing reading on the fasting thing, sunset to sunset makes the most sense. I will say however that the last four hours were brutal. I even started to not feel so well. At least I didn’t work out or go for any walks, or anything. Tomorrow starts a new fitness program, too. I also did a purification bath today.

Several divinations by myself and others seem to indicate I’m on the right track. Lots of repetition about following my intuition, balance between material and spiritual worlds. Good.

Evening rite went well.

Morning rite went well.

The lamp is totally busted, with or without a new bulb. Probably the power strip is equally busted.

I spent the day running errands and feeling very much like the calm before the storm. Took a long walk to and from dinner, ate and promptly felt VERY unwell afterwards. Could be after effects from ritual. I need to rethink my diet and my indulgences.

Evening rite went well.

Morning rite went well.

The drama with my family is getting worse, not better. I hope to distance myself from it as much as possible but since it so intensely concerns my mom, good luck with that.

The volume knob on internal stresses and irritations has been turned WAY up in the past day or two and I’m rather wondering why. Is it my subconscious going into hyperdrive with all that I have on me right now? I’m guessing so.

Did a pretty intense ritual prior to this evening’s Abramelin rite, focusing on burning away obstacles. Evening rite went okay, but am VERY spacey and buzzed. My lamp was flickering like a strobe light before I even started, now it won’t even turn on. I’ve never had electronics go haywire like that on me. Wow.

Well, um. Bring it, I guess.

Morning rite went well. I forgot that when I’m here I can actually do that east facing window thing. It’s funny how perfectly that works out when I travel versus at home.

Sept 13-16th were the dates I was basically “given” for when I do the final days of this operation. Now I know what days I’ll need off from my upcoming job. I still plan to play this one by ear but yeah, the difficulty is knowing in advance…obviously.

I very nearly had a screaming fit in the car on my way back home from my parents’: “I’M NOT READY!” I can’t see how I’m not on the 18th month plan here, or some compromise in between. I’ve come a long way, yeah, but shit I have way too much to do before then. What will I do, the spiritual equivalent of the Insanity workout program? That’s 60 days too, that program. I’ve done it, heck got certified in it even. Will my HGA take on the likeness of Shaun T and tell me to “dig deeper”? Yell at me to “sprint”? 5-4-3-2-1!

Someone online is claiming K&C is “enlightenment” and that the six months can be done in a single day in our time. Really? Gods help us all if that were the case; I don’t think obtaining enlightenment is anywhere near this simple, nor do I think any of us are off turning water into wine after we complete the rite successfully. I also think trying to do this in a single day is laughable at best. I think there’s a LOT of hype around the Abramelin; yes, it’s incredibly life altering and it’s a huge door opener, so to speak, but there are some magicians out there with unrealistic expectations of the rite. I hope I am not one of them given my own thoughts on what I’m hoping to achieve, but…yeah. But a day? No.

Supposedly I have two months and a week left of this operation if on the 6 month plan. Gods help me.

The family drama also continues. I think I’ll visit my dad again before my mom returns, I think he’ll need it.

Evening rite went well.

Morning rite went well.

With all of the family drama that is gearing into soap territory, I am beginning to feel like the calm eye of the center of the storm. Given all that I have going on, this is saying much.

I went out today to the mall with my dad, and later met up with a friend over coffee. What is happening right now and how it is coming in is insanely, ridiculously subtle but it’s painfully clear: I need to be incredibly choosy about the time I spend with others and whom I spend it with, and evaluate seriously how much time I want to spend among others, how many people, and when. I am turning into Sookie Stackhouse. I am reacting to things said before they are said, without them being said, and it’s more than my usual picking up on moods and emotions. Now that the usual chatter and static in me is being silenced, what is normally going on in the background is coming through more loudly and clearly than what I am used to.

I need to remain grounded, and focused. Gods help me when I start the regular day job in a few weeks.

Evening rite went well.

Morning rite went well.

Today I took a trip to visit my dad as my mom is away with family. Had some good breakthroughs today, which remind me of how far I’ve come but how much yet I need to go.

I am overdue for a fasting day but don’t feel an urgency to do so. I am wondering how much my HGA really cares about such things; I have no idea. I hope for a sign one way or another.

Things are in transition, and I don’t quite know where I’m going.

Evening rite went well.

Up at dawn, so I did the morning rite in a timely fashion. Funny how that works. My dreams these days have been strange, last night’s was no exception. In one of them, I was getting my hair done and I looked completely like someone else, had someone else’s face, and had short, spiky blonde hair. In the past few nights I’ve also been dreaming about many levels and floors of some large building, floods and terrorism, etc. The constant are those floors and going up and down from one to the next. I have become aware that there are two parts of me: one that is fearful, anxious, and freaking out and another which is at peace, in tune with my gods, and connected in a way that I am not always able to be, at least consciously. It is this part of me I feel is connected with my HGA and is most aware of his presence.

Today was more “coincidences” piled on top of more “coincidences”. I can’t help but put those into quotes. I think of how I’m ten days away from phase three and I really don’t feel remotely prepared.

I bought a book on someone’s experiences with mediumship; I think I need it.

Evening rite went well.

Morning rite went well.

I spent all of today socializing and professionally networking. Some of it involved interacting with alumni from my college, people I had hung out with on a regular basis over a decade ago. The whole thing got me thinking about my past, what I took away from it, what I left behind, and whether or not I had any regrets as to how I lived it.

I have always been busy busy busy, ridiculously busy, just trying to fit everything in. And I’m wondering if all of those things I tried to fit in were genuinely important on a bigger scale. As much as I have in my life right now, I have less going on. It’s calmer. I’m more…focused.

Evening rite went well.

I found myself thinking before I fell asleep that I was very much not ready for phase three let alone the completion of this operation. I stressed over this for a good couple of minutes before the thinking part of my mind kicked in and realized what that meant.